Oh, you want to know the whole thing? Well Ok...Here is the WHOLE story: "Kat's mom's story", aka, "what happened to your mom?" aka "what the heck?"

1999 - Mom was very sick and throwing up and lost about 40 pounds. I was bringing groceries to her flat and helping clean. She didn't want to go to the hospital because she thought she would just get better but she didn't. I moved her in with me and I moved her house into storage and Darren and I started taking care of her. I figured out that since she was a Vietnam veteran she could get some help with medical care and got her admitted to the Ann Arbor Veterans hospital, where she was very ill for months They did all kinds of tests but never figured out what was wrong.

After a few months she stabilized and was able to come back and live with me.

About this time my elder brother Eric abandoned me to care for mom alone. I haven't seen him since.

One morning mom was in bed so I checked on her and she said she thought she had a stroke. She couldn't move her leg or arm. We called an ambulance and they wouldn't take her to the Detroit Veteran's hospital but took her downstairs to our car and Darren and I drove her there. At that time I didn't know that the VA would cover other hospitals, I thought she could only go the the VA hospital. They admitted her.

She eventually went into rehab because she was paralyzed on the right side and always tingly. After rehab she regained the ability to move after a few months.

In Nov 1999 Darren and I lost his father, Rene to cancer.

Darren and I lived at an apartment in Southgate on the 3rd floor so I got mom an apartment nearby and after she came out of rehab I moved her there and I continued caregiving for her. Well we didn't like it there too much since she was the youngest and most everyone was crotchity and depressing. :) I found a place a few miles away in Lincoln Park and moved her there instead. This place had a nice porch, big rooms and an emergency bell in case she fell.

Around about 2002 I started a webpage to get mom help so she could get dentures and got 2 dentists to donate their time to do the extractions & denture fitting. Kinda neat, we were on the radio in Florida and got a lot of emails & support. After the dentures were done mom asked me to take the site down for privacy.

In March 2003 we lost Darren's grandma after a stroke and long illness.

In 2004 mom started feeling dizzy all the time and she had a TIA and suddenly couldn't read. Since we communicated largely via emails because she can't hear well on the phone, this was an incredible blow to us. After 3 hours at the hospital she could slowly read my book aloud again. The doctors shrugged and sent her home. She got better and was doing fine on her own for a few days at a time and then I would come over and clean and do laundry and bring groceries etc.

Well, in July 2004 I went camping. Mom was doing ok on her own for the weekend, but then she started getting sick and passed out on the floor. She woke up, passed out again and pulled the bell for an ambulance. Thank God for that bell. I think Darren and I left my heart in the road when we found out on Sunday. They did a doppler on her neck and it was pretty much blocked up so they sent her home (yeah, I KNOW) and recommended she get carotid artery surgery. We were referred to a Doctor and met him for an appointment. Well he refused to do it cause he thought he wouldn't be paid by the VA. Mom had to go back to the hospital for stomach upset & vomiting a week later and another doctor there found out what had happened and agreed to do the surgery for her. This was in August 2004. After her surgery he told us it was very difficult surgery since her artery wall is so thin.

After her neck was healing she moved home and was doing pretty ok. I'd visit every other day, do laundry, clean, make food.. that kinda stuff. We'd watch movies and chat about work. During this time I supported her while she quit smoking, a VERY difficult time for mom. At one point she walked to the store to buy cigs, and got home and was throwing up when she smoked one so she decided to quit for good. It's been 3 years since she quit now.

This whole time mom had been on oral medication for diabetes but her sugar had been getting higher so they put her on insulin. The doctors dosed it too high at first and I had to call the ambulance because her blood sugar would got so low one day that she couldn't sit up and sip anything without choking. It was confusing cause I thought she was having stroke symptoms again until I checked her blood sugar and it was 30. (Normal is 90).

During one of these times she started hallucinating a little orange cat. We decided something was up and I got her to the hospital where they admitted her for observation. She kept having hallucinations and started to get really confused and aggravated. She stayed there over Christmas 2006 and I kept searching on the internet and finally figured out that her symptoms were like withdrawal and I came to find out the nurse didn't have the medication list and they had not given her her medication for 3 days. The withdrawl from one of her meds was causing the hallucinations and anger. I had to use a court order to have them keep her until it settled down because the psychiatrist thought that was normal for her and kept trying to release her back to her apartment and she was out of her mind. She snapped out of it three days later but it was incredibly hard because while she was having withdrawals/psycosis she kept telling me she hated me and never wanted to see me again. I was crying in front of her telling her that I was her best friend and she'd turn her back on me and yell at me to go away. I later found out that when people are having withdrawals from depression medication that their personality turns the opposite way. Well you betcha, that's what happened.

We kinda joke light heartedly about this now but at the time it was one of the hardest times of my entire life.

She was able to come home right before Christmas eve 2007, but was back in the hospital a few days afterward in because she got really sick throwing up again and was dehydrated.

She slipped and fell and broke her knee Jan 1 when a nurse wouldn't come help her to the restroom. (ARG)

During her knee rehab a week later she passed out. They did a heart catherization. I thought she would just need a stent but they said they discovered 4 arteries narrowed. She was transferred to the Veteran's Hospital in Ann Arbor. She wasn't well so she stayed there a month until she had recovered enough from being so sick from her IBS. In the meantime I moved her house (yet again) to storage.

I contacted a pastor in Ann Arbor and told her mom's story and she sent Dale Briggs every single day to pray with us. In Jerusalem my request for prayer was brought to the Western Wall. Several churches prayed for us and so did my internet friends all over the country.

The open heart surgery was Feb 15th, 2007.

On Fark.com she was nicknamed "Apocalypse Meow - the Unkillable."

She came to my house on March 26th 2007, 2 days before my birthday to a suite I set up for her in the house complete with all her personal favorite figures and a big bed, TV & her computer.

In April 2007 Darren and I came home after work to find her in a diabetic coma.

They revived her in the ambulance. For several scary minutes the ambulance door opened and shut and I was certain they were going to come out to tell us that she had died. Instead he came out and said had woken up and they would take her on to the hospital. She stayed overnight and they did a catscan which was fine. I told her later while she had a sandwich if she ever drops dead on me again to make SURE that she writes a note telling me I am a good daughter or something! She said ok. We joked a little because when we found her she had a french fry clenched in her hand and surely that must mean something but she said nope, she had just felt nauseous while having lunch and laid down on the bed and passed out.

I've since written a couple of articles on how to get medical help, state help and help for seniors because no one person at any hospital knows any THING about food stamps/cargivers or VA medical benefits. I've given this info out and gotten help for a couple of people in the area that need assistance.

In November 2007 she was approved for a medicaid caregiver that would come out to the house and help her with laundry, showers, meals, etc. We also got approved to get a discount on Lifeline, the little beeper that you can wear to call for help.

During the nine years I have been caring for mom through 2 strokes, a heart attack, 2 surgeries, and bunches of tests I lost 3 different jobs, got 3 more jobs, eloped with Darren in Vegas, and moved mom's apartment a total of 5 times. My mom is my best friend, my confidant, and my biggest fan. She also loves movies and computers and can whip you in LOTR trivia.

In December 2007 I drove myself to Toronto to attend an anime con and felt like there was a very large weight lifted off my shoulders that had been sitting there for years. I suddenly realised that here I was, doing something I love without worrying about my mom in the back of my mind.

I lived happily ever after.

Thank you for visiting. If you ever need help or advice with caregiving, medicaid, diabetes, insulin, stroke care, hospitals or cats please drop a line to my Email and I'll help out, I've learned a lot in 9 years. :)